Trapped In My Mind


"You see the sun seems to shine
When I am not looking
Oh he's seen the trick every time

My things do get out of hand
Once in a while inside my mental"
- Kid Cudi: Trapped In My Mind

Not a lot to say, really. Have been thinking about a lot though. I don't know if I feel like sharing yet, still trying to sift through what's hormonal nonsense and what's really bugging me right now. I'm not happy with a lot of stuff, but complaining won't change any of it, so I won't. That's not to say that my brain isn't working in overdrive trying to solve my hang-ups, and therein lies the problem. Sometimes I just can't stop my brain for a moment and either just shrug it off or differentiate whether or not I'm interpreting something completely wrong or if there's substance to what I'm upset about. The occasional irrationality of my female logic bothers the shit out of me but on the other hand, there's something to be said for women's intuition.  


On a more creative note, I'm in the process of redesigning my bedroom myself. It's sort of going to be my first portfolio project for grad school. I put up my dresser and nightstand on Craigslist so I can gain space in here. I've discovered that I have way more random crap from back in the day that I can pitch, but don't because I have the space to put it. So I'm trying to minimize all the extra stuff I have. Whether I toss it, donate it, or try to sell it through consignment. Besides, that furniture has always been just a little too big to fit in here, so I'm looking forward to getting rid of that and having some space to play with some ideas. The first few ideas I have include painting one or two of my walls with a magnetic paint so that I can just attach photos, art, reminders and more with magnets and such, instead of impaling the wall every time I want to put something up. Next up, since I'm getting rid of the dresser, I plan on hanging collapsable shelves to house my clothes, to maximize visibility and accessibility to my clothes. Instead of having to rifle through drawers. Most likely, I'm going to paint my current desk, once I get rid of all of that extra computer equipment that doesn't work anymore, and use it as a part vanity, part desk, but I may just replace it if I can find something that suits me better. Find a funky vintage-looking mirror to lean against the wall on top of the vanity, after I build-in some stoppers so it won't slide. I could totally use a better chair with back support, not necessarily a computer chair, but something that it comfortable and functional. I'm wondering if I could pull off somehow partitioning off that area, which is near my closet with some sort of L shaped curtain rod and fabrics that fit whatever color scheme I wind up picking and actually turn it into a sort of changing area. Would also give me a place to hang backgrounds (side note: more videos this year!) The real crown jewel of my plans is to get rid of my bed and make, or just break down and buy a Brazilian or Mayan style hammock. I keep hearing there are tons of benefits, including they are sleep-inducing and help with back pain, so I'll try it as a bed. I've loved any time I've spent in a hammock, so bring it on. Add in a few trinkets, maybe a coat rack to hang my purses and heavy coats. 
There's not been a particular theme chosen yet. I just want to get this place into somewhere I like being, somewhere that's comfortable, stylish, and fun. Progress update soon.


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